Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Why - why - WHY?!

When doing deep spiritual business owner shit, it always comes up - what is your why?

I have a lot of whys. But it all comes back to this word:

FREEDOM. 

FREEEEDDOMMMMMMM. 

Here are some examples of what freedom means to me. 

Look at this girl. She is free. Seriously free. I got her from a free stock photo site.

Recognition and Appreciation. 

At my old job I was very unhappy. After years of being meticulously on time, I started to be late. Why? Because I was tired. Because no one really seemed to care if I was there or not - so I stopped caring if I was there or not. It felt awful.

It's important to me to feel appreciated in my work. To get recognized. I actually do like working hard. If I would have been recognized and appreciated, I probably could have stuck with giving up a little freedom. But no freedom, recognition or appreciation? No.

With my work now, I do feel very appreciated. There are good days and bad days. However, whatever kind of day it is, it is my decision to do it. No one is forcing me to do my work. It's up to me to commit myself fully. When it's my decision, the appreciation and recognition seem to come more often.

Schedule control. 

This is something I have a very hard time with anyway - I suck at saying no and am great at overscheduling myself. Now, however, it's on my terms.

The goal with the freedom of schedule is that someday once business is built up and hired out and managed, I hope to have more time to nurture myself.

Getting better.

With my own business, I can get better physically and mentally.

I am sick. I have chronic fatigue. I hate it so much. These days, I have more freedom to nap when I choose and pace myself. Canceling appointments feels awful, but it is easier than when I had a regular job. If I am going to really not feel up to it, I will cancel. Self care and all that. I try not to do this often, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

Schedule freedom also offers me more time to schedule doctors appointments. Bonus.

Mentally, I drive my success. I want to be a famous blogger? I can do it. I'm under control. What I do (and don't do) matters. But it's my choice.

Family

Simply, when I have a family, I want to see them, not have them in child care allll day. (Part of the day? Sure.)

Money

At my other jobs, there was always a limit on my income. With my businesses, the sky is the limit.

Identity

I now feel stronger about who I am and my motivations in life. I know that in every move I make, I am working toward what's important to me, not to someone else.

It is hard going from an altruistic job like social work to being a business owner and working for well off people. However, even though I liked the work as a social worker, the system did not allow me to feel happy with myself at all. Working for myself serves my identity way better.